A few months back, I decided to give online dating a chance. I was quite optimistic about the whole thing, even though I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I met a few great people, some who have become good friends.
Enter…… Mr Love at first sight…..
I didn’t notice him at first. He sent a super like and I didn’t even answer. Eventually I looked at some of his other photos and decided, mmmm why not. He wasn’t ugly, but wasn’t remarkable either. He immediately sent messages, asking me what am I looking for in the app. I told him, I am looking for a friendship that can turn into a relationship. I then asked him what he was looking for. He said he was looking for a serious relationship, that will lead to marriage… online! I know!! Thus should have been my first red flag… but it wasn’t.
We started talking and he immediately asked for my number. I refused and asked him to slow down. He agreed but continued to bombard me with messages throughout the day. we continued chatting until I gave him my number.
He was a model boyfriend wannabe! He called daily, morning and night. We would chat for hours through the night. My graduation in his town was coming up a few days after we spoke. He arranged to see me during my graduation and even booked lunch for me and my gran!!! I really thought I was the luckiest girl in the world!!! We met for drinks that save day, he was amazing. Listened and treated me with kindness!
We arranged to meet that same weekend. He took me to a spa, we had lunch and went back to his place. That was the first time we kissed and it was glorious!!!! My body wanted his and his body wanted my body. But he was a complete gentleman and didn’t try anything until I left. We just touched each other.
We met again the following weekend. We gave our bodies the permission to do what they wanted. It was rushed, painful, loud and overall not an enjoyable experience. We tried again, I still didn’t enjoy it. The next morning. I told him and we tried again, slower and gentle.. this time I enjoyed it slightly. Mechanical sex has never been my thing and my body just rejected it. But I had to teach my body to like it, I liked him now so my body had to as well. But it kept rejecting him.
We continued dating and I was even considering the idea of marriage and kids. Tiny red flags kept creeping up. The child he wasn’t supporting… the anti-feminist comments made, the inconsistent stories about location of houses and number of assets. The latter does not really bother me, but unnecessary lies tell a story….
Fast forward to a time a friend of mine was visiting and he came around. I got too drunk and looking back, I think they shagged or something. When I woke up, he was gone and his phone was in my house. My friend tells me they were playing a joke and she hid it from him. I drive to his place to drop it off, he wasn’t there. The house was empty!!!! No furniture! Later I managed to get hold of him, he tells me he was at my house cause I stole his phone!!!!! An old iPhone7! Stolen by me! The nerve!!! I told him to come get it. He came to get it the next day and that was the last time I spoke to him….. At least it should have been….
He calls me up at 02h00 in the morning last week. He wants his woman back! 🤦🏿♀️ we start talking again… I thought we could just be friends with benefits and told him this. I don’t want a relationship, at least not with him. This is after he tells me I am the love of his life! As soon as I tell him that, he sends me a photo of another woman. The message reads ‘I miss those lips”! To the other woman! I just deleted the number and will never speak to him again!
It’s important to listen to your body, the signs and reject things and people that your body and spirit reject! Don’t force yourself to like people because they like you. You will not like everyone that likes you and that is ok.
Rachel
The stories I am too ashamed to tell 