When love is not enough….

What do you do when you get back together with the love of your life? You hold the resentment, all their wrongs are remembered and the anger stews in your heart. You want to love him, you want to forgive him and get back to the original love you once had. You enjoy the same activities but that old euphoria is gone, you are just going with the motions. Truth is you don’t like him very much…

He looks like your old lover, smells like him but not quite him. The love-making suddenly feels like a non-consensual encounter. Your body rejects him, his kisses feel like being licked by a cat. His touch feels like being scratched by nails. The things that once made you fall in love him, just don’t feel right anymore! The judgement, the constant proving your worth, the not knowing when this love bombing will end, all of it annoys you.

What do you do then? Your mother and grandmother think he is the best thing after sliced bread. You don’t want to disappoint them, not giving them grandkids is enough disappointment! So what do you do then? You call your concubine and have a weekend rendezvous! You taste his sweet kisses and caresses, drink wine and pretend just for this weekend that you are not grown. You don’t have to be responsible! You don’t have to think about your mom and your grandma! You don’t have to live up to society’s expectations!Just you and your short lover! If only fantasies were real!!! For now though, let me get back to my cat kisses, ouch! There’s the touching….

Rachel Kazzim